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"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.I'm great at multi-tasking--I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.Never tell your problems to anyone, because 20 percent don't care and the other 80 percent are glad you have them.Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?Take my advice — I'm not using it.My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.I'll bet you $4,567 you can't guess how much I owe my. She was clearly in a shopping mood, so I showed her alovely body which she also tried on and bought and then the newnightdress ranges. As I was wrapping up her purchases, she was clearlyback on the track of knowing me, but fortunately two women came in atthat moment and I could divert her penetrating gaze. The two ladies were the sort who makes managing a shop a chore. It wasclear that they were not going to buy enough to justify the time thatthey demanded of me, but I had no other clients so I kept my charm andwas pleased even to have sold one a totally unsuitable string (I can bebitchy, but really, with her hips and tummy, a control girdle would havebeen more appropriate!) and some stockings before I could get them out.I was going to heat some soup and have a sandwich, but a woman in earlypregnancy came in saying she wanted some pretty underwear despite herchanging shape. I always enjoy making women feel good, so it was apleasure to show her some comfortable stretch knickers and a.
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